Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand…
* Clouds are high flying fogs.
* The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming
* The process of turning steam back into water again is called
* Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of
* Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what
you are talking about.
* Geometry teaches us to bisex angles
* A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending
* Rainbows are just to look at, not to really
* We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by
spontaneous generation and study of rocks.
* By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-
* If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of
* Vegetative propagation is the process by which one
individual manufactures another individual by accident.
* A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.
* The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the
* When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a
* It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the
* Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human
branes have more convulsions.
* For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently
back and forth.
* For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a
blanket for shock.
* While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance
from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
* South America has cold summers and hot winters, but
somehow they still manage.
* Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which
way it wants to go.
* There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of
the Earth because of so much population stomping around up
there these days.
* Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils while
others preferred to be oil.
* A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more
extinct it is.
* Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you
don’t why you should.
* Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them
know we know they’re there.
* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
* Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the
* Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats
* To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male
wears a condominium.
* We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.
* Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget
to put the top on.
* To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to
chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know
how to do it, and that is the important thing.
* Clouds just keep circling the Earth around and around. And
around. There is not much else to do.
* Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough
to be called a drop, it does.
* When there is fog, you might as well not mind looking at it.
* Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding
* We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won’t drown
when we breathe.
* In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
* Rain is often spoken of as soft water, oppositely known as
* In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog’s tongue
will kill the strongest man.
* A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
* A thunderstorm is like a shower, only more so.
* Thunder is a rich source of loudness
* Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their
* It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there
have to live other places.
* The wind is like the air, only pushier.
* Question: In what ways are we dependent on the sun?
Answer: We can always depend on the sun for sunburn and
* Until it is decided whether tornadoes are typhoons or hurricanes, we must continue to call them tornadoes.
* In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find
there are twice as many H’s as O’s.
* Water is composed of two gins,
Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
* Hydrogin is gin and water.
* When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath,
* H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
* When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon
* Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a
* Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and
* Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
* The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
* A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can
* Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like
* The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
* Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
* Liter: A nest of young puppies.
* Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
* Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is
affirmative or negative.
* To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the
* For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until
the heart stops.
* For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial perspiration.
* For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has
not recovered, then kill it.
* For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the
patient is dead.
* To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.
* For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it
drops in your throat.
* To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.